Building a Dream Home (More Than Once): What I’ve Learned from a Lifetime of House Projects
There’s a difference between buying a house and building one.
Buying is a transaction.
Building is a relationship.
It’s late-night Pinterest boards and early-morning site meetings.
It’s disagreements over drawer pulls and giddy joy when the light hits the stone exactly how you imagined.
It’s equal parts spreadsheet, prayer, and “we’ll figure it out.”
My husband Joe and I have had the privilege (and the chaos) of building multiple homes together. Each one has marked a different season of our life, our marriage, and our style. But this most recent home in Newport Beach—the one now being represented by luxury realtor John Stanaland, has been the most intentional, layered, and personal project we’ve ever taken on.
It’s not just a house.
For us, it’s an art piece.
And I want to share some of the stages we went through, what we learned, and what I’d tell any homeowner dreaming of building a home from scratch.
Along the way in this blog, I’ll be sharing a few small video clips—from dirt lot to final reveal—so you can see the transformation from our eyes
2023
Stage 1: Falling in Love With an Idea (Before There’s Even a Lot)
For us, it always starts the same way:
A feeling.
It might be a street we keep driving down.
A view we can’t get out of our heads.
A floor plan that’s almost right… and we catch ourselves saying, “If this wall was gone… if those doors were bigger…”
Before we ever sign anything, Joe and I get clear on just one thing:
“How do we want life to feel inside this house?”
Not:
“How big?”
“How many bedrooms?”
“How impressive?”
But:
Do we want to host more?
Do we want quieter mornings?
Do we want easy lock-and-leave travel?
Do we want the ocean to be the first thing we see when we wake up?
This latest home was born out of that feeling.
We wanted a home where:
The ocean feels close enough to breathe it
Hosting felt natural—dinners, wine, late-night conversations
Every room had a purpose, not just a look
That vision became the anchor when everything else got messy.
Stage 2: Choosing the Team (Architect, Contractor, and Creative Partners)
Once you have the feeling, you need the team who can translate it.
This is where we’ve grown the most over multiple builds.
A house at this level is not a solo act. It’s a collaboration, and choosing the wrong people will cost you years, money, and peace. Choosing the right ones will change everything.
For this home, we worked with:
A contractor known and respected in Newport Beach (like Chris Light, who has an incredible reputation in the area)
An architect who understood both the structure and the way we live
Trades and artisans who cared about the details most people don’t even notice—but you do, every single day
Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:
Ask to see finished projects, not just renderings.
Pay attention not only to the quality of the work but how they talk about past clients.
You are not just hiring skill—you’re inviting energy, communication style, and problem-solving into your life for 18–36 months.
You don’t need a perfect team.
You need a trustworthy one.
When the dust is everywhere, timelines shift, and something arrives in the wrong color for the third time… trust is what will keep you sane.
Stage 3: The Design Dance (Where Vision Meets Reality)
This is the fun part… and the exhausting part.
It’s where my love of design and detail goes head-to-head with:
Budgets
Lead times
City codes
And the infamous “We can’t do exactly that, but we can do this…”
For this home, I had a very specific vision: warm, coastal, elevated but not cold. I wanted it to feel like quiet luxury with a heartbeat—where you can have a glass of wine in a silk dress or curl up in sweatpants and both feel right.
We learned:
Some materials are worth the splurge (stone, windows, hardware you'll touch daily).
Some “must haves” fade, but good natural light will never not matter.
The best design decisions are the ones that still make you smile on a random Tuesday, not just for Instagram.
There were frustrations:
Delays.
Items discontinued mid-build.
Things that looked different installed than they did on paper.
There were nights I went to bed questioning a choice and mornings where I’d walk in, see sunlight pour across the floor, and think:
“Okay… this was worth it.”
Stage 4: The Emotional Cost (Not Just the Financial One)
No one really prepares you for the emotional side of building.
You don’t just invest money.
You invest yourself.
Time.
Energy.
Arguments.
Revisions.
Compromises.
There were moments in this build where I felt like a project manager, designer, wife, and therapist… all in one. I’d be on calls about tile samples while thinking about podcast guests, while juggling real life and travel.
If you’re building, here’s what I’d say to you:
Expect to have days where you want to sell the lot and hop on Zillow like everyone else.
Give yourself permission to step away from decisions when you’re tired.
Remember: this is not just construction. It’s a chapter of your life.
Looking back over all the homes Joe and I have built together, each one carries the fingerprints of who we were at that time.
This one feels like clarity.
We know how we live.
We know what matters.
We were bolder in some choices, quieter in others.
Stage 5: When a House Becomes an Art Piece
By the time this home was finished, it didn’t just feel like another project.
It felt like an art piece Joe and I had created together.
Every line.
Every sightline to the water.
Every material we agonized over.
Every change order that made things just right instead of “good enough.”
People see the final price tag and the glossy photos, but what they don’t see is:
The evenings standing in a framed-out room imagining where the dining table will go
The mornings walking the job site with coffee when it’s still all dust and exposed beams
The quiet satisfaction of watching the sun set from a room that used to be nothing but a sketch on paper
That’s why, when it came time to consider listing it, the decision wasn’t casual.
You don’t hand over an art piece to just anyone.
Stage 6: Finding the Right Person to Represent It
When we decided to bring this home to market, we wanted someone who had:
Deep experience with ultra-luxury coastal properties
A reputation for integrity and performance
A genuine appreciation for the soul of a house, not just the stats
That’s where John Stanaland comes in.
John has been a leader in the Orange County luxury real estate market for decades. He’s sold some of the most iconic homes along the coast, and he doesn’t just understand square footage—he understands story, architecture, and lifestyle.
For us, this home being listed at a price point like $21,995,000 isn’t just a number. It’s a reflection of:
The location
The design
The craftsmanship
And yes, the countless unseen hours and decisions poured into it
We are incredibly grateful to have someone like John representing it and helping find the right next owner—someone who will love this home as much as we have loved building it.
What’s Next (And Where You Can See More)
Throughout this blog, I’ll be sprinkling in a few small video clips:
Early framing days
Design decisions coming to life
Quiet moments when the home finally started to feel “real”
If you want to go deeper into the story—the numbers, the behind-the-scenes of luxury Orange County real estate, and what it’s like to bring a home like this to market—I sat down with John for a full conversation on The Amy Plus Podcast.
👉 Click here to watch or listen to the full episode with John
We talk about:
How he views homes like this from a market perspective
The story behind some of his record-breaking sales
What made this particular home stand out to him immediately
Final Thoughts: For Anyone Dreaming of Building
If you’re reading this because you’re considering building your own home, here’s what I’d leave you with:
Start with how you want to live, not just what you want to own.
Choose a team you trust not just for their portfolio, but for their character.
Give yourself grace when you’re overwhelmed. It’s normal.
Remember that the process is part of the story. The headaches will fade, but the memories of building something beautiful last.
And if you’re simply here because you love homes, design, and a good story—I’m grateful you’re along for the ride.
This house has been one of the greatest creative journeys of our life together.
Now, we’re excited to see who turns the next page.
Best,
Amy
